The Big List of Kinks

Welcome to the thrilling world of BDSM, otherwise known as bondage, discipline/domination, sadism/submission, and masochism. Whether you’re a seasoned kinkster or an eager newbie, there’s always much to learn. If you're just beginning to explore BDSM and kink, take this BDSM test to learn what your unexplored desires are!

You can brush up on your BDSM skills by reading books, watching movies, and attending events such as educational workshops, munches, and meet & greets. But first off, you need to get to grips with the BDSM & kink lingo. This list of kinks, BDSM terminology, and fetishes was written to do just that.

We will slowly roll out our extensive fetishes list over a few months so keep your eye out for exciting new updates!

A

ABDL 

ABDL, or adult baby diaper lover, is a specific type of age play where a sub acts in an infantile way. Examples of behaviors subs will adopt include suckling on a bottle or dummy, snuggling with a teddy, and wearing & soiling a diaper.

Aftercare

Just like the name suggests, aftercare is the care partners give each other after a BDSM play session (a.k.a. Scene). It can consist of cuddles, massages, rehydrating, eating a good meal, or any other activity that helps each partner relax and connect with each other. We encourage you to do aftercare activities that best fit the play you engaged in. For example, after a heavy impact scene, you may want to complement the intensity with soft touch and gently applying cream/lotions where impacted. And any good aftercare routine includes calling/checking in on your partner the day after playing. Aftercare is essential after any play session. It is common for partners to experience emotional crashes after playing (see Sub Drop), and aftercare is the best way to prevent this. Learn more about aftercare and BDSM safety in this guide!

Rabbit Fur Mitten

SHOP FOR $50

Age Play

Play that involves a submissive acting a younger age and a Dom that takes an authoritative, maternal/paternal role. In this dynamic, Doms tend to be nurturing, while instructing and punishing as they see fit.

Anal Play

Anal Play is exactly what it sounds like: any form of play that involves the anus. Anal play can be internal or external. The butthole is very stretchable and full of sensitive nerve endings that make anal play incredibly pleasurable. The ways you can play with the anus are seemingly endless but here are a few favored activities: anal toy play, ass eating, pegging, anal fucking, fisting, & much more. Internal anal play is a fantastic way to pleasure both the prostate and g-spot. There are plenty of fun anal toys – butt plugs, vibrators, & dildos to name a few. Learn more about how to explore anal play in this comprehensive guide!

Anal Training Plug Set

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Enema Bulb

SHOP FOR $25

Vibrating Prostate Massager

SHOP FOR $130

Slink Depth Training Toy

SHOP FOR $120

Animal Play

Also known as pet play, this kink involves adopting the role of a creature e.g., dog, cat, or pony. The most popular forms of pet play include pup, kitten, and pony play, but there are kinks for every creature of any kind (real or fantasy). Kinksters often wear masks, ears, and tails, and adopt the animalistic habits of their chosen animal. For example, pups may enjoy chasing a ball, receiving scratches, eating from a bowl on all fours, and obeying their handler’s orders. Interested in exploring pet play further? Check out this 101 guide on all things pet play!

Neoprene Pup Hood

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Leather Lockable Collar

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Fox Fur Tail

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Ass Worshiping

Submissive ass-worshipers love nothing more than planting their face between the ass cheeks of their Dom, and Doms love nothing more than to smother submissives with their ass cheeks. To take things a step further, the sub can show their devotion by licking and kissing. Doms enjoy smothering their submissives not only with their cheeks but also with their scent. Submissives have no choice but to be marked by the scent of their Doms until their Dom gives them permission to wash. BDSM outfits with crotch zippers are a must for any Mistress. As you can likely imagine, ass worship is a pleasurable activity for both Dom and submissive. Smothering and ass worship are taboo kinks that make it all the more exciting for all participants.

Black Shorts with Crotch Zipper

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Black Dress with Full Zipper

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B

Bathroom Control

This form of discipline involves a sub relinquishing control of when they use the bathroom to a Dom. Submissives may have to ask for permission to use the toilet or a bathroom schedule might be set. The Dominant may restrict privacy too for added humiliation.

BDSM

The umbrella term for bondage, discipline/dominance, submission/sadism, and masochism. BDSM involves physical and mental play, power exchange, pain, and plenty of pleasure. An important aspect of BDSM that many beginners are not aware of is relationships. There is a large BDSM community full of kinky people who engage in BDSM to varying degrees. Some keep BDSM to the bedroom while others live the BDSM lifestyle (see BDSM Lifestyle).

SM 101 by Jay Wiseman

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Cuff & Blindfold Set

SHOP FOR $70

Bed Restraint Set

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BDSM Lifestyle

The BDSM lifestyle is a way of living that involves incorporating BDSM into daily life. For those who live the lifestyle, BDSM is more than just an activity – it is often a part of their identity. As we mentioned in the definition of BDSM, relationships and community are an important aspect of BDSM, especially for those who live the BDSM lifestyle. Here are a few examples of the BDSM lifestyle: frequent BDSM play scenes, one or several established power dynamics with a partner, attending kinky events, and identifying strongly with a power dynamic role (Dominant, submissive, switch, etc.).

To give you a real-life example of someone who lives the lifestyle: Rae has a dynamic with her wife in which she is the Dominant and her wife is the submissive. They do not have a 24/7 dynamic but they have agreed upon several disciplines Rae's wife follows to incorporate their dynamic in their daily lives: putting on and taking off Rae’s shoes every morning and night, never walking in front of Rae when entering a room or building, referring to Rae as “Mistress” when they are by themselves or in kinky spaces, and wearing a non-discreet collar in private spaces and a discreet collar in public.

Blackmail 

Often carried out by a FinDom (financial dominant), the blackmail kink involves threatening a sub with exposure unless they pay a “ransom” (examples: money, gifts, and erotic activities), forcing the sub under the control of the Dominant out of fear. Exposure threats can include telling a sub’s family and friends about their kinks or posting humiliating pictures and videos online.

Blood Sport

Play that involves cutting with a knife, piercing with needles, or whipping until the skin bleeds. Blood sport is an extreme but popular form of BDSM fun. Hygienic needles and staples can be used to produce pretty patterns and then removed, causing the sub to bleed in many cases.

Body Bags

A bag that fully or partially encloses the body. Body bags can be made out of a variety of materials such as neoprene, heavy rubber, leather, and canvas. Body bags are adored by submissives because they restrict the senses while cocooning them in a way that is comforting, helping them reach subspace. Dominants love body bags because they have total control of their submissives and all body parts, keeping their subs still while they’re busy! Some body bags fully enclose the head while others leave it exposed – great for a bondage hood & bag combo.

Neoprene Sleep Sack

SHOP FOR $248

Canvas Body Bag

SHOP FOR $410

Body Modification 

Body modification is an umbrella term for temporary and permanent physical modifications such as genital piercings, tattoos, and branding in a kink context. Body modification is a form of sexual self-expression for some while others introduce modification as a form of power exchange between a Dom and a sub. 

Body Wraps

Body wraps, such as bondage tape and bandages, allow the Dom to restrict the movements of the sub. The body can be partially wrapped e.g., legs or arms, or fully wrapped to evoke a sense of helplessness.

Bondage

Play that involves physically confining or restricting someone. There are a large number of ways to restrain someone. Bondage can be very creative and is often accompanied with other forms of play. Examples: chaining ankles and wrists to bed frames with cuffs, taping arms and legs together with bondage tape, suspending a person with rope & shibari rings, and enclosing someone head-to-toe in a body bag.

Neoprene Wrist Cuffs

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30' Nylon Rope

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Neoprene Collar & Leash Set

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Bondage Tape

SHOP FOR $10

Boot Worship

A fetish that involves a sexual attraction to boots. Boot worshippers often love to lick, caress, and kiss boots. Submissives especially enjoy worshiping the boots of Dominants.

Bottom

The person on the receiving end of BDSM play. The terms “bottom” and “submissive” are commonly confused as the same thing but there is a difference! A bottom refers to the recipient of play conducted by a top while a submissive is someone who consensually gives psychological and physical control to a Dominant (see Submissive).

Leather Blindfold

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Silicone Dildo

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Fuckwater Lube

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Boundaries

An individual’s limits in a kink context. Boundaries are what you are and are not willing to do in play scenes, kink dynamics, and other things related to BDSM. Boundaries are an essential part of BDSM and kink. Before engaging in any form of BDSM play, boundaries must be explicitly stated and strictly followed. Boundaries are often discussed thoroughly in negotiations. Read more about BDSM safety in this guide!

Branding

Branding involves heating metal and stamping a symbol or initials onto the skin. Not just for farmers, BDSM practitioners also engage in this practice to mark their subs.

Breast Bars/Clamps

Breast bars/clamps are two bars that can be adjusted to clamp breasts on both sides horizontally. They’re often used as a form of breast torture and are commonly made with stainless steel. The sensation can be heightened by adding a to tug at the breasts or giving the breasts a good thwack with a crop!

Breath play

Breath play is an extreme form of play that involves preventing someone from breathing. Hoods are often used for breath play, and some of the most commonly used gear includes latex hoods and gas masks designed specifically for breath play. This play should be researched thoroughly before engaging in it.

Bruises

BDSM doesn’t have to leave marks, but a heavy session can lead to noticeable bruises, especially if you beg for them! Be sure to get consent before giving someone bruises. Take care if your bruises are on show in the vanilla world – they might be difficult to explain.

Bullwhips

Usually made from leather, bullwhips are long and thin, producing a satisfying sharp crack and impressive welts when they strike the skin. Bullwhips are for seasoned players and can cause serious damage to a sub. 

C

Caning

Long, rigid, and thin tool used to deliver stinging whacks. They vary in length, thickness, and material. Canes are commonly made from materials like leather, rattan, and bamboo. Bottoms are usually caned on the butt, thighs, or breasts. Each strike leaves noticeable marks!

Caregiver/Little (CG/L)

Also known as CG/l, the Caregiver in a CG/l dynamic is an authority figure that gives nurturing attention, care, and sometimes rules/discipline to the little, the person role-playing a younger person. 

CBT

CBT is short for “cock and ball torture” and involves dishing out pain to the testicles and penis. There are numerous ways to torture the cock and balls! Popular CBT torture gear includes chastity cages, ball crushers, ball stretchers, humblers, and much more. Combining torture gear with tools like crops, canes, and spiked gear takes the torture up several notches!

Lock Me Up Chastity Cage

SHOP FOR $70

Balls to Wrist Humbler

SHOP FOR $110

Leather Parachute Ball Stretcher

SHOP FOR $25

Chastity Play

Chastity play involves the denial of sexual pleasure and is commonly engaged in with chastity gear. The person subjected to chastity is locked in gear such as cock cages and chastity belts to forcibly restrict them sexually and prevent orgasms. Chastity play is a fantastic way to engage in edging, orgasm denial and to enforce a D/s dynamic.

Acrylic Chastity Cage

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Leather Chastity Belt

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Collar/Collared

Being collared represents the union between a Dom and their submissive. The Dom presents the collar to the sub (usually during a collaring ceremony) and the sub wears the collar to denote ownership. It is important to note that being collared is not synonymous with wearing a collar. There are many within the kink community who wear/use collars for reasons outside of symbolizing ownership. The terms collaring ceremony and collared are typically used within the context of an established D/s dynamic.

Leather Collar

SHOP FOR $80

Metal Lock & Key

SHOP FOR $5

CNC (Consensual non-consent)

CNC is a form of play that describes consensual scenes where partners are simulating non-consensual activities. This type of roleplay must be carefully negotiated – every activity in the scene must be agreed upon and safewords/signals must be established prior. Examples of CNC include kidnapping, rape fantasy scenes, engaging in sexual activity with a person who is sleeping, one partner “freely using” another sexually however and whenever they want, and many others. Not sure how to navigate a conversation about CNC and other types of BDSM play? Check out this blog on negotiations and safety in BDSM!

Consent 

Consent is voluntary, clear agreement to engage in a sexual activity. The most important part of kink is consent. In order for consent to be given, all parties must clearly communicate with each other what activities each will partake in as well as fully understand what those activities are and the risks associated with them. We wrote a whole blog elaborating on consent and the conversations that need to happen to get consent because it’s so essential! All parties must agree to respect limits (also known as boundaries as we previously defined). Respecting boundaries is integral to getting and maintaining consent.

Book of Sex & Consent by Donna Freitas

SHOP FOR $21

Contract & Agreements 

BDSM contracts are written agreements that must be consented to and signed by all parties. These agreements can be used to outline the rules of play scenes or establish a D/s dynamic. The contract typically details guidelines on behavior, expectations, rewards, and consequences. 

BDSM Contract by Lily F.

SHOP FOR $15

Corporal Punishment

Often associated with disciplinary caning, spanking, and other forms of impact play, corporal punishment takes us back to the school days of old when pupils were routinely caned for misdemeanors. 

Cropping

Riding crops vary in design, but typically they have a handle and a long shaft that’s used to deliver a good thwack! Crops deliver a stinging strike and can leave impressive marks if used with force.

Cross-dressing

Cross-dressers enjoy wearing clothes made for the opposite sex. Male cross-dressers often opt for lacy undies, stockings, heels, and dresses, finishing off their look with a wig and make-up. Female cross-dressers might don shirts, ties, and sharp suits. Cross-dressers often step into a different headspace when dressed up, and most cross-dressers associate their clothing with submissive or dominant headspaces.

Mrs. Marianne Wetlook Dress

SHOP FOR $270 ($190 in store!)

Mrs. Louise Wetlook Dress

SHOP FOR $200 ($147 in store!)

Cuckolding

For some couples the idea of sex with others isn’t a problem. Cuckolding generally refers to a kink whereby one person gets aroused by their partner getting hot and horny with someone else. The bystander partner is called a cuckold. There is no one way cuckolding can look. A few examples of cuckolding include the cuckold watching their partner play with someone else, one partner sharing explicit details with the cuckold about what they were up to with another person, and many other fun scenarios.

Cuffs

Restraints made for the ankles, wrists, or thighs. Cuffs often come in metal or leather, but they can also be made with materials such as velcro, vegan leather, and rubber. They are used to ensure the bottom remains still during play and are extremely versatile gear. Simply put, cuffs are a must-have in your treasure chest!

Soft Leather Wrist Cuffs

SHOP FOR $48

Brassware Leather Wrist Cuffs

SHOP FOR $104

Cutting 

Cutting refers to slitting, carving, or slicing the skin with a sharp implement, such as a knife or scalpel (sometimes referred to as sharps play). This is an extreme form of play that should only be practiced by experienced players.